KATE MIDDLETON CAUGHT HAVING SEX IN A LIMO
Princess Kate Middleton is reportedly starting an album documenting her pregnancy, and the first photo is of the conception when Kate got railed by Prince William in the back of a limo.
Kate Middleton and Prince William think they are so fancy with their hoity-toity limo sex. Like most Muslims I was conceived on the back of cart, as my mother caught the eye of a powerful and forceful man.
That is how true men of strength and character are created, not by some foppish Nancy and his skank wife bumping uglies in the back of a luxury automobile. Kate Middleton’s child is certainly doomed to live a life of mediocrity and flaming homosexuality.
KATE MIDDLETON CAUGHT HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER BODYGUARD
Princess of Wales Kate Middleton was caught having an affair with her bodyguard Liam Arseshagger of Coventry in the shocking photo above.
Apparently Kate’s husband Prince William first grew suspicious of the couple when Liam would accompany Kate to the “loo”, and they would sometimes not return for over an hour. Of course Kate would claim that she had a nasty case of the “shits“, but William was not convinced.
William considered going to a private detective to put a camera in their bathroom, but luckily that was not needed as William’s father Prince Charles already had a camera installed facing their toilet (as he does in all royal residences), and he gave his son the photo above proving Kate’s infidelity (as well as a few unsolicited ones of the Queen straining to pinch off a loaf).
No word yet if William will be filing for divorce or if he will continue to be a cuckold. Kate reportedly defended her cheating to him by saying “Liam only stuck it in me shitter he did. It was a jolly good rodgering it was“.
KATE MIDDLETON VISITS THE TROOPS
As you can see in the photo above, Princess Kate Middleton made a surprise visit to the Wellington Barracks next to Buckingham Palace late last night.
Visibly intoxicated after a night out at the pubs, Kate Middleton reportedly told the duty officer that as a Royal she takes her duties very seriously, and that she thought the men could use a pick me up for the holidays.
Kate Middleton then proceeded to stumble into the barracks while stripping off her clothes and singing “God Save the Queen”. “It was great to see. We haven’t had this kind of support for our men since Princess Diana” remarked base commander Colonel Reginald Featherbottom.
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