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9 useless things we learned from Pippa Middleton's new book

It’s here, and it’s going to irritate you.
Oct 26th 2012, 11:57 AM 21,825 29
Image: Penguin Books
IT’S HERE, EVERYONE. Pippa Middleton’s party-planning book is here.
The royal sister-in-law launched her pet project, Celebrate, in London yesterday, thus ensuring that no insufferable party will ever be the same again.
But what does the book actually contain? Well, it’s not on shelves yet, but the Daily Mail is running some exclusive extracts from Pippa’s section on autumn celebrations. We’ve picked out some essential answers to life’s major questions.

1. Why did you write the book?

I’ve always loved to write, so it seemed natural to try to combine this passion along with my enjoyment for entertaining.

2. How does the book work? Should I just read it, or what?

Celebrate is structured around the seasonal cycle and focuses on tradition, ritual and rhythm, providing a glimmer of anticipation and hope – like that warm feeling on your back on the first sunny day of the year or spotting the first signs of spring.

3. Is there such a thing as overdoing it when it comes to Halloween?

There is no such thing as overdoing it when it comes to Halloween.

4. How can I accessorise my dishes?

You can accessorise dishes with a trickle of tomato ketchup ‘blood’ and black plastic spiders perched on serving trays or in drinks.

5. Could you please tell me how to play conkers in great detail?

Each player has a conker threaded on to a piece of knotted string [...] and pairs of players take it in turns to hit each other’s conker. The conker should hang perfectly still, ready for your adversary to strike. If you hit your opponent’s conker, you have another go; if you miss, it’s their turn. The game is won when one conker is destroyed or knocked off its string.

Pippa holding a glimmer of anticipation and hope in this cold, empty world (Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP/Press Association Images)

6. How should my house look, though?

Your home should look the part on the outside to greet your guests and any passing spooks and spirits. A few mournful ghosts floating in the garden will add to the effect.

7. You say autumn party food shouldn’t be too fiddly. But why?

The likelihood is that you will be perched on a bench, hay bale or log.

8. I’ve got literally all the time in the world. Can you teach me to play ‘pumpkin bowling’?

Save ten small drink bottles (with tops) for pins. You can give them the appearance of ghosts by pouring in 5cm (2in) white gloss paint and a drop of paint thinner and shaking. Add faces to the outsides with a black marker pen. You’ll also need small pumpkins with short stems for bowling balls. If you can’t find any, oranges work just as well.

9. When should I serve a hot vodka cocktail?

Serve it for elevenses with sausage rolls.
So there you go. We trust you don’t have any more questions. Go forth and party!

Tell us: What was your greatest ever Halloween costume?>

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Michael Freeman

COMMENTS (29)

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    Oct 26th 2012, 12:02 PM
    Jaysus… Any shots of her hoop?
     380
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:05 PM
    I also expected the book to be entirely about Peppa’s behind
     111
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:26 PM
    No, but the book is a load of Hoop if that helps!
     85
    SEE 3 MORE REPLIES ▾
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:08 PM
    “The likelihood is that you will be perched on a bench, hay bale or log.”
    She’s really hit the nail on the head. As an owl, I couldn’t agree more.
     205
    Oct 26th 2012, 1:04 PM
    Seeing as it’s Halloween, a vulture can to mind.
     4
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:05 PM
    Yuck! Give me Nigella any day!
     72
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:26 PM
    Give me Nigella on any day Pippa isn’t available and on special occasions give me both.
     109
    Oct 26th 2012, 12:28 PM
    Party planning !!! Easy lots of booze great music and food !!! Who needs a stupid book !!! Good luck to her anyway I am sure nigella won’t lose any sleep
     60
    Oct 26th 2012, 1:39 PM
    You mean someone actually paid her to write these ideas ? The mind boggles !!!!
     35
    Oct 26th 2012, 4:05 PM
    Most likely she paid someone else to write them.
     23
    Oct 26th 2012, 3:03 PM
    Good luck to her! What a load of old rats tails! I believe she’s even put in an article on how to make tea… Vodka for elevenses lol
     25
    Oct 26th 2012, 3:13 PM
    What a load of crap, where did she get the time to write this masterpiece, all she seems to do is party, holiday and hang from her sisters coat tails!
     23
    Oct 26th 2012, 7:11 PM
    Presumably it’s for the type that follows these celebrities’ every move who will lap all this crap up. You know, the type who keep track of rich people with disposable incomes as they party, holiday and hang from their sister’s coat tails.
     8
    Oct 26th 2012, 2:47 PM
    How is this work for her? Her parents own a party planning service for years
     21
    Oct 26th 2012, 1:54 PM
    Simply beastly.
     16
    Oct 27th 2012, 2:35 AM
    @McNamee on the green … I never once mentioned Government Salary . Get your facts rights . As for your personal comments against me you do not know me so I will treat them with the contempt with they deserve. !
     6
    Oct 26th 2012, 2:49 PM
    Yea, any ass shots? Two birds with one stone as they say if so, as a moth loves that sort of book.
     13
    Oct 26th 2012, 11:54 PM
    She released a simple book for simpletons to cash from her fame. Big deal ! Fair play to her for trying . I hope it’s a christmas number 1 and that she gets so rich from it that she has to struggle to spend her money! Don’t but the f€;:kin thing if it upsets you that much !
     9
    Oct 26th 2012, 3:09 PM
    I wonder what her recipe for Colcannon is…..oh it’s the Oirish and potatoes again!
     9
    Oct 26th 2012, 4:55 PM
    LUNACY
     7
    Oct 27th 2012, 5:47 PM
    I sense the book will be more entertaining than the wedding!
     2
    Oct 27th 2012, 9:08 PM
    why all the negativity?
     2
    Oct 27th 2012, 12:11 AM
    Pippa, Nigella and Rachel. Yes please. They can fight over who gets to cook my breakfast.
     2
    Oct 26th 2012, 3:45 PM
    Apologies for double post!
     2
    Oct 26th 2012, 10:30 PM
    ”Never has so much been written about so little !! ” maybe that smelly guy is right about ‘the end of the world is nigh ‘ ….
     1
    Oct 27th 2012, 10:54 AM
    What a party animal, I’ve wasted my life. BOOOOORRRRIING…!
     1

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